Season 4, Episode 9 Finding Your Purpose: How to Unlock Your Inner Artist on Your Journey Towards Self-Love

[00:00:00] Eric Brotman: Welcome to Don’t Retire… Graduate!: The podcast that teaches you how to advance into retirement rather than retreating. I’m your host and valedictorian Eric Brotman. And this is the last episode of calendar year 2021. It is almost new year’s Eve. Lots of people are making resolutions. And so we thought it was a great opportunity to bring out an accomplished artist, a creative business mentor, and a trained spiritual coach.

Peleg Top, who is he’s a mentor. I have been on his show before and had a chance to spend time with him. I think you’re really going to enjoy our time together. Peleg, welcome to the show.

[00:00:38] Peleg Top: Thanks for having me, Eric. It’s good to be here.

[00:00:41] Eric Brotman: I can think of no better way to end what has been a challenging year for, for lots of individuals, families, countries, the world. I don’t even know where to begin quite frankly, because I want to hear so much about your story and how you became not only how you became financially free and independent, but how you became a mentor and a coach. There’s so much I want to unpack. Can we just, can you start with just a little bit about how you got to where you are?

[00:01:10] Peleg Top: How I got to where I am. It’s been a long road with a lot of inner work and a lot of failures and a lot of successes and a lot of lessons. And yeah, what can I say more? It’s the details. I really irrelevant as far as the how, but I can tell you why I got here. I got here to this point of my life, to a place where I move through the world in a place of feeling whole and complete and a level of inner peace that I carry with me on most days.

And a lot of that is it has to do with the the inner landscape that I’ve paid attention to for so many years inside of the storm that’s the world that we live in and it took a lot of work.

[00:02:04] Eric Brotman: Well, it, it certainly doesn’t come naturally to everyone. And I’m, I’m no exception to that. Meditation and yoga and acupuncture and various types of ways to, to and of course religion and, and other types of ways to be spiritual, they’re not really taught. They’re, they’re handed down from generation to generation a lot of times within families or within religious organizations. But how does someone maybe without that kind of support system, find this, find this inner piece that you talk about? How do you teach people to do that?

[00:02:37] Peleg Top: I think it all starts with self-awareness and that’s ultimately the journey, the spiritual journey as, as human beings is all about self-awareness and ultimately that’s, that’s what we seek in that journey. What I teach people is a way to get back to themselves a way to listen to themselves, to their essence, to their deepest, inner voice. And to get there, we oftentime have to go through healing, wounds and overcoming fears and increasing our own level of self-love.

That work is the practice. That work in, in my life is the most important spiritual practice. Anything beyond that you know, only satisfies the skin. Doesn’t really touch the soul. And I think that our own, our own growth as, as people, as we move through the world, if we don’t. Will you look at who we are and ask ourselves, you know, who am I, why am I here? What is this all about? What’s. What’s the purpose of, of this life that I have? Then, you know, we, we can just go through the motions of life and all of a sudden wake up and were retiring. Right. And we we feel lost. We have lost our identity and who we are because it was so tied to what we were doing.

But now that we’re not doing, we’re in that space of, of retirement and We kind of feel lost and unconnected and oftentimes, and I’m sure you’ve talked about this on your show. Oftentimes there is a, a crisis that happens at that age of retirement mostly for this reason. So if we can go back and think ahead of whenever we want that retirement part to, to happen, whatever we call retirement, right? We’re not using that word on this show.

[00:04:38] Eric Brotman: We can use it, but it’s gotta be in quotes.

[00:04:40] Peleg Top: Exactly. Yes. I have my air quotes on.

[00:04:43] Eric Brotman: There you go.

[00:04:44] Peleg Top: So the, the, the inner work that you want to do to get to a point where we are so connected to who we are as human beings, and we’re not so. Consumed with the doing of, of the days we can shift into whatever it is that that, that we want to do at that point, because we’re not so dependent on that identity of what we were doing.

And, and that’s the core spiritual work that I’m talking about is to know yourself. The better you know yourself, the deeper you know yourself, the, the more you have to work with actually.

[00:05:23] Eric Brotman: Well, you also have to enjoy your own company. Because there are certainly times where you are going to spend time alone and need to figure out. I agree with you. It’s, it’s who you are, not what you do. I love that you framed it that way and that we tie our identities to our work. So, so much that retirement feels like a loss rather than a graduation, which is what we’ve been trying. To help people grapple with, but I also think when we talk about money, we talk about financial affairs, there’s a, there’s an incredible amount of worry and fear. There’s the fear of the unknown. I think people are often afraid of things they don’t fully understand, and there’s not a lot of financial literacy. We’ve talked about that on the show. There’s also. I think there’s also incredible amounts of shame and guilt and all kinds of, for lack of a more graceful term, all kinds of emotional baggage around money that I think plays into what you’re talking about here, in terms of not only figuring out who you are, but, but the why, right?

[00:06:21] Peleg Top: Yeah. You’ve hit on a really, really important point. You know, we can be financially, technically financially smart. We can have. All the right investments in place and the, all the cash that we need. But yet that doesn’t mean that we are feeling financially free. Right. And, and that’s the idea of the inner world of, of our Stu our own relationship to money.

And so many of my students, and so many people that I know, including myself included grown up with a money story. That is probably not theirs. I inherited my money story. In other words, the way that money appeared in my life, the way that the concept of money showed up, the way that I began to relate to money. I learned it from my mom and dad, right? From our family of origin is where we pick up a lot of, a lot of the things that our parents modeled for us. I was raised in a household with a father who and a mother who spent their first five years of their lives in poverty. My dad was a Holocaust survivor and my mother was a Iraqi refugee.

And in that time in their life, pretty much shaped their relationship with money. It brought in a sense of scarcity from the get-go. So they grew up in a life where the belief that there isn’t enough or money will just end immediately or suddenly it’ll all go away. All those anxieties shaped their relationship with money and, and that’s how I was raised and that’s what I learned to believe for, for many, many years. I realized, one day I woke up and I realized, wait a minute this isn’t working because, you know, even though I making really good money and I’m able to support myself financially, I am still having a hard time, you know, sleeping at night because I worry about it.

And I know that I’m not alone in that. My own personal quest was to liberate myself from that anxiety and worry. And my work on becoming financial free, it was really about learning to change my relationship with money and also learning to really understand what it takes to create money. But it’s not about earning money. It’s about creating money. And the way that I can create money is basically very simple. And I always have access to that. As long as I am, as long as I am alive, I have the ability to serve people and to be creative. And those two things together applied in an intentional way will create money. Service and creativity.

And when I really got in touch with that idea and started actually believing in it and living it, I began to heal whatever wound I had around money that was holding me back. And my not only my financial numbers completely started changing and money float in a much, much easier way, but I wasn’t anxious about it anymore.

I trusted, I trusted that there is enough because we all know there is enough money in the world. There is so much money in the world. It’s just, how do we tap into the amount that we need for our life. Right. So that idea of the flow that is available for us is something that I believe in. So I don’t that that idea of oil never be enough, is not there anymore because I see it all around me.

That is the, the abundance that we live in. How much we have in our pocket in our bank is ultimately all up to us. Up to our, our creativity and our way of serving the world.

[00:10:27] Eric Brotman: You’ve shared an awful lot with us in a, in a short period of time. You’ve gone from this sense of scarcity that you grew up to this feeling of abundance, but you didn’t, let me, let me suggest that you didn’t go from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset because of a radical abundance of, of, of, of earning or wealth. You did it because you learned to free yourself from some of the chains of spending, right? You, you sort of went minimalist here and spent some time in a way that lots of people have never experienced. Can you share that, that experience with us and maybe how that created this transformation?

[00:11:06] Peleg Top: That was part of the journey. It wasn’t the journey. What you’re referring to is I, I, I took two years, 2015 and 2016 and on the heels of a divorce sold all my properties and put all my stuff in storage and packed a suitcase. And traveled lived out of a suitcase for two years at a very minimalistic way that did teach me that I don’t need a lot to be happy.

And it gave me a really good perspective at the, the abundance that the world has to offer us only if we really learn how to tap into it. That was part of the, of the journey. As I said, it wasn’t the whole journey. The whole journey of getting to that place took way, way, way more years or more inner work and a lot more digging and healing to get to a point where I love myself and I trust myself and I believe in myself and I believe in my abilities to create money whenever I need money. And I’m okay with that. I don’t don’t, I don’t need more than I need.

[00:12:16] Eric Brotman: Tell, tell us a little bit about the coaching work that you do. You have a a hundred day program. And being that we’re getting ready to kick off a new year, lots of new year’s resolutions are around either losing weight or fitness or their money goals or other things. What kind of, what kind of program is this?

[00:12:35] Peleg Top: This is a program that invites people to go on a 100 day journey with me, where we spend 100 days, it says a hundred, a hundred sessions in 100 days, consecutively. It’s quite intense. We go on this journey as a, as a group. There’s a cohort of about 15 of us who go through this journey every time. And what we do is we. We do the inner work that we need to do in order to get to that place of feeling that we like to be with ourselves in the same room. You know, the, the place of trusting ourselves, the place of loving ourselves.

It is a, is a course where I teach a lot of these concepts that I’ve learned from my experiment. I call my life and we use art as a. Tool to move through the process. For 100 days, the students create an incredible body of work, and this is not art to be displayed in galleries. This is art that gets created and destroyed right away because we don’t want to get pressures about it.

And we want to just activate that creative muscle in us. So ultimately, inside of this work, the student gets to a point where they trust themselves and trust their creativity and their level of confidence in what of what’s possible is is off the charts. And the things that happen after that experience that’s what excites me most. To see where the students are in day 101. And what are they creating in their life now that they’ve gained all this confidence and all these tools, manifestation tools, to go out there into the world and, and create who they’re meant to be.

[00:14:14] Eric Brotman: I just want to piggyback off of that because I think it’s a, I think it’s an amazingly unique program. There are lots of schools, courses, programs, trainings. They preach that they meet students where they are. You know, I, I isn’t, it isn’t it said that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear, right?

[00:14:35] Peleg Top: It is this actually glorious. I don’t think it’s sad. I think it’s exactly what needs to happen when somebody is ready to do the work. And that’s, that was my, my journey. You know, when I was ready to do certain type of work that I, that I needed to do, the right teacher showed up.

[00:14:54] Eric Brotman: Oh, I, I think it’s glorious to, I, I, what I had said was that it’s been said that, not that it’s that sad that. I think it’s great. I know, I wasn’t saying it was sad. I think it’s wonderful. How do folks, when they seek you out or when, when you appear as their teacher, what kind of condition are they in? If you’re allowed to say what, what, who are the folks who are, who are seeking you out or who are allowing themselves to be sought?

[00:15:17] Peleg Top: It’s generally people who are quite accomplished, who are in in that liminal space between the familiar and the unknown. They’ve had a long career there they’ve been accomplished and successful. They’ve they have a lot to show for what they’ve done and they begin to see that During this transition space and they don’t quite know exactly what’s next for them. It’s it could be a very scary space because we hold onto the familiar and we are not willing to let go.

Even though sometimes we need to let go in order to begin the next thing, but the fear and anxiety of the unknown of what’s next, oftentimes paralyzes people. And oftentimes I’ve seen it that keeps people in jobs that they don’t like careers that they’ve outgrown. So when they meet me they they’re asking what’s next.

And they’re saying, I don’t really know what’s next. I don’t have any ideas of what’s next. And the work that we do together helps them get reconnected with who they are. Remind them who they used to be before they fell into the grind of their lives and their careers. It wakes up their inner soul artists to a point where they can begin to hear that inner voice they forgot that they had and begin to come alive again. And that’s part of the magic of, of who we are as human beings is when we become alive and more self-aware. And more created to our, in our artist. And I believe all of us artists, even you, Eric.

[00:16:52] Eric Brotman: My stick figures don’t measure up. Let me tell you, I have a lot of talents that is typically not one of them.

[00:16:57] Peleg Top: Yeah. Yeah. And that’s, and that’s a big part of what people come in with is that same belief as, oh, I’m not an artist and. And I say, I don’t believe you. And let me show you that you are. And let me teach you how to begin to express yourself in a way that will actually surprise you. And when that process happens and art becomes a tool, right?

A tool to, for us to grow and get to know ourselves, we arrive at a place where we get clarity. We, we begin to see things clear or begin to, we begin to hear that inner voice that has been dormant for so many years who are now telling us, oh, remember we used to love this. And we used to love that. And at that point, new ideas come in and the what’s next becomes much, much clear because it, it comes from a very natural space of who they really are. Not who they think they need to be.

[00:18:02] Eric Brotman: So, well, first of all, if you think you can turn me into an artist, that’s impressive. No, but I, I get it.

[00:18:08] Peleg Top: I’ll take the challenge, Eric.

[00:18:10] Eric Brotman: Oh man. That is, you know, my, my 11 year old daughter does art. I do not do well, but that’s okay. So in some ways, in some ways, your. A wake-up call. You’re a change agent, helping folks fight the sleep that is the inertia of their lives. Is that a fair statement?

[00:18:25] Peleg Top: Yeah. I often tell people that if if you come and study with me, I’ll be two things for you. I’ll be an alarm clock and a plumber. First, first I’ll wake you up and then I’ll help snake out all the crap out that’s been getting in the way of your growth so that you can experience the flow that you’re looking for in your life. That’s kind of the joke.

[00:18:47] Eric Brotman: Yeah. Well, that’s one of the most graphic things ever said on this show, so I’m glad we don’t use. I’m glad we don’t use a visual representation of our guests methodologies. I think we’ll all be better off. Not visualizing any more of that than we just had to.

[00:18:59] Peleg Top: It’s all metaphoric.

[00:19:01] Eric Brotman: I understand. I understand. So, so w w what are, what are some for, for folks who maybe aren’t ready for this, because this is not only is it a major commitment to to forget the a hundred day program is obviously a major commitment, but just to try and change oneself is extremely tough, but because this is a time of year where people are trying to do this anyway, what is a baby step that maybe you can recommend to folks who aren’t ready for a transformation, but could certainly use a well a shot of adrenaline somewhere, a, a shock of the system.

[00:19:36] Peleg Top: Well, a very simple practice that is incredibly powerful is a gratitude practice. You know, we, we live in a world of fear and scarcity. We, we get fear and scarcity messages coming in. Every time we turn the news on. I would say during the holidays, turn the news off, give yourself a media break. It’ll wait for you. And if something big happens, you’ll find out about it from somebody trust me, but give yourself a break from that, you know, see if you can calm down that, that that, that news addiction that we live in.

Well, we need to know what’s happening everywhere in the world and places that we don’t even will ever have anything to do with. Right. But it still affects our psyche and begin to notice, just notice all the good around you. Begin to notice and take it in the little things. The, you know, the, the smile on your child’s face, the, the way it feels when you sit in your car and drive home.

And it’s very nice and comfortable, and the music is playing. Get connected to life, get connected to so much that’s around you. Feel the gratitude of that. If you do that on a regular basis, just that just simple, simple act of noticing the good, I promise you. That’s like 90% of the work here, but it’s a simple and powerful tool.

[00:21:08] Eric Brotman: Well, I’m going to try that. I’m going to try it starting today. Because I do think the gratitude practice makes sense. I do think that we sleep walk through life a lot. I think that just noticing it doesn’t have to be profound, like the sunrise over the Atlantic ocean, it could just be a breath of fresh air recognizing the little things that matter. Yeah. I love that.

[00:21:27] Peleg Top: Notice the good. And if you want to take it one step further, have a gratitude journal by your bed or somewhere where you can, you can be with this journal every day and take five minutes and just write down three things that you noticed today, the things that you noticed today. And I tell you, you begin to write those things down and you are writing such a beautiful book to read that will always help you get back into a good mood when you, when you’re not feeling so good because you’ll pick up this book and you’ll begin to read it and you’ll go, wait a minute. All my problems sound so irrelevant and insignificant compared to this amazing life that I actually have that I’m actually noticing.

And I think that’s a big part of why we suffer is because we don’t notice that the good that we have in our lives.

[00:22:24] Eric Brotman: Peleg, that is Sage advice. And you talked a little bit about scarcity and abundance, and if I’m not mistaken, you have an abundance blessing that you use in your classes that I would love for you to share with our audience. It it’s a spiritual thing, not a religious thing, but it’s, it’s an opportunity to just just go into the year with a, a real clean slate. Would you like to share that with us?

[00:22:46] Peleg Top: Yeah, I would. I would love to Eric and this, this prayer, this blessing is a combination of many prayers that I’ve collected over the years from poems and books. And I can’t remember how it was compiled, but it’s something that I say with myself. I start my day with this, with this prayer and I like to share it with my students because it’s, it’s inspiring, it’s clean and it’s, it’s it’s not religious and everybody can relate to it. So I invite you to just close your eyes and bring a soft, soft smile to your, to your lips and acknowledge divine love for allowing me to give with complete and ease and abundance, knowing that you, love, are the ultimate source of all. Let me be an easy and open conduit for your prosperity. Let me trust that all my own needs are always met in amazing ways and that it’s safe to give freely as my heart guides. And equally, let me feel wildly open to receiving.

May I know my own value, my beauty and worthiness, without question, let me allow others the Supreme pleasure of giving to me and may I feel worthy to receive in every possible way. Change me into one who can fully love, forgive and accept myself. So I may carry love without restriction. Let everything that needs to go, go and let everything that needs to come, come. I am utterly your own. You are me. I am you. We are one. All is well and all is full of love.

[00:24:38] Eric Brotman: Thank you. Thank you. That’s part of my gratitude. Thank you for sharing that with us I hope it’s something that folks will not only enjoy and heed, but also listen to over and again, so we’re running out of time on the show and I, and I, I really could spend I could spend a hundred days with you, Peleg, honestly. But let’s, we do need an extra, well, we need an extra credit assignment.

We need one takeaway and. I, I don’t know how you can offer anything more profound than you already have today. So I challenge you to try to do that. This has been so good. Well, what would our extra credit assignment be today?

[00:25:11] Peleg Top: It would be about noticing, and it will be about giving as we are in this time of year that promotes the energy of giving. I would challenge you to a glad giving challenge and what that is. And this is something that I challenge many of my. I challenged my students to take 10 bills, 10, five, or 10 or $20 bills, but 10, 10, 10 bills. Have the cash in your pocket. And as you move through your world, Notice where you can give. It could be to the checkout counter. A girl at the supermarket. It could be to the postman. It could be to the street performer. It could be to the hostess at the restaurant. You just a headline chat. It could be anything. But experience the joy of noticing and something really magical can happen when we practice that giving is we begin to look for ways that we can give and help and serve versus move through the world in a way of trying to get.

And I think that’s a, a beautiful practice that can help. Connect to the spirit of the holiday, the spirit of renewal and the spirit of abundance and have fun with it. I would encourage you to even write down, you know, can you keep in your jury, if you have a journal book, write down who you gave the money to and what was the response?

Because when people receive even if, even if it’s $10, it means so much. So I want you to go out there and glad gave an experience, really the joy of giving as you make a connection with another human being.

[00:26:54] Eric Brotman: Spectacular assignment, I challenge our listeners to do just that. I think. Not only a worthwhile outward gesture, it’s an incredibly powerful, inward gesture.

Peleg, how can folks learn more about you and the work you’re doing and maybe be in touch with some of your writing or other work?

[00:27:10] Peleg Top: I have a website it’s Pelegtop.com. They can learn about me, my story, my course. I’m on Instagram at Pelegtop. I mean, Not that active on there and I’m on fantastic shows like yours, so, well, the best way to to spread, spread love into the world so, yeah.

[00:27:31] Eric Brotman: Well, this, this has been remarkable and a heartfelt and I very much appreciate you coming on. You were a great guest. Thank you.

[00:27:39] Peleg Top: Eric. I also want to say thank you because your, your work and your podcast is one of my favorite listens. You’re, you’re more. I hear you more than you hear me. You’re in my car almost every time that I’m in it. I truly enjoy the way that you teach and the way that you’re passionate about helping people in their own way of transitioning into what’s next for them in the financial aspect. And thank you. I’ve learned a lot from you and keep doing this amazing work.

[00:28:12] Eric Brotman: Well, I can think of no better way to end the year. This was great. I would like to thank all of our listeners for listening, not just to this episode, but to, to our whole season. We are continuing on the other side of January 1st, 2022 with, with our year. If you like, what you hear, please subscribe to our podcast, leave a review on apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Please also check out our books, workbooks and online financial literacy resources at brotmanmedia.com. We’ll be back next week and in fact, next year with another installment of office hours and in two weeks with another engaging guest. For now, this is your host, Eric Brotman reminding you: don’t retire. Graduate.

[00:28:53] Narrator: From this day forward, let us begin changing the way we view retirement. Today, I implore you: don’t retire. Graduate. Visit our website at brotmanmedia.com to subscribe and please like us and post comments on social media. Securities offered through Kestra investment services, LLC. Kestra I S member FINRA SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through Kestra advisory services, LLC. Kestra AS, an affiliate of Kestra IS. Kestra IS and Kestra AS are not affiliated with Brotman financial or any other entity discussed.