Love and Money: Financial Planning for Newly Weds

Eric Brotman [00:00:03]:

Welcome to Don’t Retire Graduate. The podcast that asks you what you wanna be when you grow up so you can graduate into retirement with purpose and passion. I’m your host in valedictorian, Eric Brotman, and I can’t thank you enough. for making don’t retire graduate a part of your personal financial journey. Our guest today is Cody Niedermeier. Cody is a certified financial planner practitioner a member of the BFG Financial Advisors team since 2019, and a former division 1 athlete at University of Maryland. He’s played a tremendous role in supporting our firm’s financial planning for all initiative due to his passion for guiding individuals and families through all stages of their financial lives. Most importantly, for today’s episode, Cody’s a newlywed, and he’s agreed not only to talk about best practices for couples who are planning to get married, but also to be on the hot seat today so we can see how well he and his bride fared through the process. Cody welcome to don’t retire graduate. Eric, I appreciate you having me on. And I am excited to be in the hot seat. Well, I think this is gonna be a lot of fun. And, you know, I’d like to talk a little about you and, and how you got into the business and why and, and what you’re passionate about. And then I wanna shift and talk about What, what young couples, particularly, who are contemplating getting married, have to think about financially in advance And then through the process of planning and paying for a wedding, which is no small thing. I mean, even the engagement ring is no small thing, so but let’s start with with a little bit about you for our our audience. What what brought you not only to financial advising, but to BFG?

Cody Niedermeier [00:01:38]:

Yeah. So, you’re gonna love to hear that this all started with a conversation with you. I was a guy who, as you said, played Division 1 soccer at the University of Maryland. I thought I was gonna be a soccer player forever, and then you graduate and you think, what’s next? There wasn’t an opportunity for me to do that. So I spent some time living at home like everybody loves to do nowadays, going back to mom and dad, going to grad school because what do you do next? I’m gonna go get more schooling. And I ended up having a conversation with my neighbor who linked me up with you. We had a phone call. You weren’t hiring, but you were more than happy to give me a little bit of an intro into financial planning and personal finance world. Next thing I knew I was in your office. Next thing I knew I was showing up for my 1st day and somehow we found our way. sitting in these seats today?

Eric Brotman [00:02:28]:

Well, it it has been 4 years. And, it’s been fun to watch your personal journey or professional journey in that way. Let’s talk about your other personal journey that just happened, which is, I was pleased to to witness your nuptials, not that long ago. so tell us a little bit about that relationship and a little bit about not only how you kids met, but but how you how you got to the point where you are today. And we’ll talk a little bit about your personal story.

Cody Niedermeier [00:02:59]:

Yeah. So I think everybody’s goal is to marry up, and I was able to fool her into, actually going through with a wedding, but Nelli and I, we met at the University of Maryland. She was also a soccer player there. we were good friends for a long, long time and what she loves to tell people is I had a lot of growing up to do before we were able to take these next steps. So I went through the grueling pit. I I found my way through we were able to, you know, rekindle relationship after school. And somehow we found ourselves standing at an alter together what, and looking down at a calendar about a month and a half ago.

Eric Brotman [00:03:34]:

So, Cody, if if you married up, which, I I grant you is is sage advice, Does that mean Neli, married down?

Cody Niedermeier [00:03:43]:

That just means that I was able to fool her. I was able to disguise it. Well, that’s terrible. And, I hope if she hears this show and she will,

Eric Brotman [00:03:52]:

that she knows that that’s the way you’re speaking about her currently. So before you even begin walking down that aisle, you have to do some some planning. And some of that planning is financial. So let’s start at the beginning. Did did you, did the 2 of you have any conversations about finances long before an engagement ring? Like, did you know what one another situation was, what your career aspirations were, maybe what your financial baggage looked like? When, when did you have that conversation for the first time? So we were able to have that conversation pretty early in our relationship. And as a financial planner, I’m gonna be completely open and honest here. It should have been way more in-depth than what it was.

Cody Niedermeier [00:04:31]:

We had an idea of debts each other had, which is super important. We had an idea of are you a spender versus a saver? And we were able to just really get to know each other on that level. Looking back now and what I tell clients and what I’m gonna tell people on this podcast is don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions, the hard questions of what are your short term goals? What are your long term goals? because Finances is one of the biggest reasons we see issues with relationships down the line. Nelli and I were lucky enough. We’re very similar thought process on how to go about finance is. not everyone is so lucky. So having those conversations early is one of the first things I tell people a client who is in a significant relationship with someone, a client who’s even single of starting to create an idea of what you’re looking for personally, because whether you’re Simpatico with other people or not is gonna be a huge thing of whether the relationship is gonna be successful or So you counsel young couples all the time about this kind of thing. And you use the word simpatico, and and you and Neli had that, in common,

Eric Brotman [00:05:37]:

How do you address challenges when maybe they’re not lined up? And there and there is some potential conflict that you see, on the horizon as a professional?

Cody Niedermeier [00:05:48]:

I think that’s an interesting question because when I have my hat at home on now, which is now the husband hat, That’s how she sees me. It’s not the financial planner hat that my clients see me and talk to me with on a daily basis. So now it’s looking at one of the great benefits we have in our firm is is free financial planning, you know, if you work here. And I work with a different financial planner in our firm. who, when Neli hears something from me, she says, oh, great. When she talks to Yani, which is one of the other CFPs and principles of the firm, It’s like, oh, we should do that. Why didn’t you tell me to do that? And it’s a very different dynamic, but it’s it’s something that not only holds me accountable, It holds us accountable just on a personal basis of reaching those goals that we’ve established with each other.

Eric Brotman [00:06:33]:

It’s You know, it it’s funny because, you know, my wife and I also use a different financial advisor here in the firm. We work with Lina. And the reason that we do is so that I can wear the husband had, not only at home, but even in our meetings together. Mhmm. because there’s it’s it’s not a whole lot of fun. for the spouse who is married to a financial advisor to sort of feel talked over or talked through or or, or not to be heard in those situations. And so to have a, a dispassionate third party makes sense. And I think it’s important for financial advisors to have a financial advisor because of that dispassionate nature of the advice. but so you guys were simpatico, yep, which is helpful. And you had these discussions and you decided in your infinite wisdom, it was time to propose. Yes. So I did. Tell me about that. Not the proposal itself. We’ll get there. but, but tell me about your thought process when you said, all right. This is the woman I want to be with, and this is what I want to do. And now holy cow, I’ve got this big expense coming up.

Cody Niedermeier [00:07:36]:

My thought process, she made very easy of what she was looking for in a ring. Oh. So I was able to get a good picture of, you know, what she was looking for, and I’m one of the few lucky people in the world of Hey. She would rather spend that money on a house or vacation versus something that she’s gonna wear 50% of the time while being a nurse. She has one of the nice plastic rings that she wears to work when she’s working her 12 hour shifts, and she loves it. We got her a couple different colors. I think it was $15 off Amazon. That is not to say it got me out of buying her a ring. We were able to I was able to have an emergency fund ready and was planning accordingly for a few months leading up to it of, hey, this money’s going to cash. I know what it’s earmarked for, and it’s the ring that she’s always wanted.

Eric Brotman [00:08:24]:

I I never even considered getting my wife a plastic ring, but it it has dawned on me now that that’s a fantastic idea a beautiful thing. I would probably be in serious trouble. I’d probably not be married, actually, but, but nonetheless, so, so you had a discussion about the ring describe what she wanted. So she knew this was coming, though she didn’t know exactly when. There was some element of, of intrigue.

Cody Niedermeier [00:08:46]:

Tell us about the big day where you hit one knee and good things happened. Oh, the big day, I was definitely more nervous than I am right now. Let me tell you. Yeah. I had an opportunity. She’s originally from Albuquerque. So we had, we had a week or 2. We were able to get out there where I was able to talk to her mom prior to, and that’s a side note for all men on the call. talk to the parents beforehand whether you need to or not. It goes a long way with the future misses. once I got the okay, Cash savings was on. I got the ring, and one of Nelly’s favorite things to do was be outside and go on hikes. Luckily, being in Maryland where we’re at, we were only, a quick, I think, hour a half, 2 hour drive away from Harper’s ferry, made her way up a mountain. I dropped to a knee. of her friends were there to take pictures, and she describes it now as the 2nd best day of her life. Oh. When I get her a dog in the future, it’ll be the 3rd best day.

Eric Brotman [00:09:41]:

Well, you know, we’ll get to dogs and, children at some point in this conversation. You know, you’re not getting away with that. it it’s funny because I also asked my wife’s parents. I asked her father for her hand. And this is a this is a true story. I I I I went out. This was a a 300 and some odd pound man who played football for Penn State. He was a massive dude. Mhmm. And he had a three pound dog. And so this massive dude is out walking this three pound dog, and I decided to walk the dog with him, which which a red flag to the whole family because that was preposterous and would never have happened. But nonetheless, I go out. And I said, I said, Ron, I’m in love with your daughter. And I’d like to ask her to marry me, but I would never do so without your blessing. And as only Ronald Patrick Hanley could, he thought he channeled all of the wisdom he had. And he said, Are you gonna pay for her car insurance and her cell phone? It’s a good question. So help me. And I was like, yes. He said, welcome to the family. So I was able to tell my future fiance that, her father essentially sold it for 300 bucks a month or something, which, it still strikes me funny. But Okay. So you you proposed on a hike. Yep. she said yes. whether that was at a moment of weakness or not, we don’t know yet, but she said yes. And then it came time to start thinking about,

Cody Niedermeier [00:11:03]:

living arrangements, presumably, or had were you already living together at that point, or was this, what was the the transition process for housing discussion. Yeah. So we were in a lucky enough situation. She was living with her best friend, 6 stores overall in the same block in Baltimore, Maryland. And I was living with 2 of my best friends. So we were kinda, we were basically living together without all the benefits of living together. Okay. so living situation wasn’t, wasn’t a big deal. We waited till the big day to move in together. Okay. But as you were alluding to, the wedding planning started on that drive home. Or actually, shall I say the walk down the mountain? She already had notes in her phone. She was ready to go, and those conversations began with calling what would be her maid of honor and, hey, he finally did it. Let’s get started. Oh my goodness,

Eric Brotman [00:11:50]:

So she had been thinking about this for some time, clearly. Yes. and how long did you give yourselves from proposal to wedding day?

Cody Niedermeier [00:11:59]:

I think it was a little bit over 6 months. So we were well, that’s quick. As I said, she was ready to go. We were ready to be married. We didn’t want one of those long engagements.

Eric Brotman [00:12:08]:

we’re ready to take that next step. And like I said, before, get up to the altar. Now for folks who listen to this show, everyone knows that I despise rules of, I especially despise the rule of thumb that some jewelry company came up with that said, oh, you should spend 2 grow 2 months of growth salary on a ring. Like, that’s arbitrary. It’s kinda like Hallmark came up with Valentine’s Day for a reason. I get it. I know why they did it. It was fabulous marketing. But rules of thumb aside, how do you counsel folks on how to to do an engagement ring and then how to plan a wedding of the financial aspects of it.

Cody Niedermeier [00:12:44]:

So the finite item, it all comes back to, you know, what are you trying to accomplish? What’s the goal for, you know, what ring they want you gotta start with where you’re trying to get to before you can start making a plan of how to get there. a lot of the time I do off, look at emergency fund. What do we have currently in cash and what do you need to live on in case the bad thing happens and, you know, the engine in the car goes up and you say, Wait a second. I gotta fix that. Now I don’t have any money to fall back on just in case. So once that emergency fund is built, we start to look at, okay. How is cash flow? What’s coming into your world? And what can we earmark on a monthly basis, a weekly basis, whatever makes most sense for the client? because everyone’s favorite answer is it depends, especially in our business, of figuring out what your game plan is to get closer and closer to having the money available for that ring. My least favorite thing is when somebody comes back and says, hey, I bought this ring and put it on the credit card. And then now we’re backtracking and trying to figure out how do we get that card paid off so you’re not starting your marriage in debt, especially with adverse debt like that.

Eric Brotman [00:13:50]:

Yeah. I I’ve given advice like that many times, which is saved for it. Do not borrow for it. Yes. because it does start you in a peculiar hole, and suddenly it’s a it’s a mutual hole. Somehow if you save for it and you propose it’s a gift. Whereas if you propose and you’ve used the credit card, it’s now she’s inherited half of that. She’s basically paying for it. You bought your own ring. Right. You just bought your own ring. I just happen to pick it out, with your guidance, of course. So then then now the wedding, weddings can be very inexpensive. You can go to the courthouse with 2 friends or They can be moderate and, a small gathering of of close friends and family. They can be remote destination weddings and you can get married on an island somewhere. They can also be full blown affairs, black tie, and and over the top, and you can spend, six figures on a wedding very easily before we get to your personal wedding, which I was pleased to attend and and have have some some thoughts for you, actually, about that, that we’ll have some fun with. But how do you counsel folks on on how to not only plan the wedding financially, but how to keep some of the expectations, Mutual? How do you, how do you create that Kumbaya between the, the, the couple? And oftentimes,

Cody Niedermeier [00:15:07]:

there are differing opinions. Yes. Wedding’s can add up very, very quickly. And you see that even if you’re trying to schedule 1, that is not supposed to do that. All of a sudden, flowers are more expensive. All of a sudden, the tent, way more expensive. But I like to create an environment of just having a meeting with the clients, creating a safe place to say, Hey, what would be your dream wedding? And then we kind of go from there of, Okay. This adds up. And then that really resonates with clients as we’re having that conversation of, okay, this would be great. But all of a sudden, we’re going to be in that debt that we talked about before when we were just speaking about the ring.

Eric Brotman [00:15:45]:

Did, Neli mention at all when you asked her about her dream letting Brad Pitt. Was there any discussion around

Cody Niedermeier [00:15:53]:

a different groom, or you’re good? Jason Momoa keeps coming up in conversation even after I got married. Fair enough.

Eric Brotman [00:16:00]:

So how did you how did you decide to handle your wedding financially? Share share with us

Cody Niedermeier [00:16:06]:

not only the process maybe, but also the outcome. How did you decide to do that other than inviting only your favorite few people? Yeah. Including the owners of the firm I work at, which was super helpful in scheduling a wedding. But, no, we were in a lucky enough position that, you know, a lot of people aren’t in of both sides of the family wanted to help in some way. How much that’s a conversation for a different time with a beverage? But we were in a position that her mother wanted to do something to help. Her my parents wanted to do something to help, but we didn’t wanna put everything on them. So her and I had some conversations. You know, we went out to eat safe place outside the home of just hey, what would be your goal? Same thing I asked my clients. And mine was great. We can go to the courthouse and we’d be good. We can have a party with people after the fact. She wanted to have everybody there when we said I do. So what I’ve learned about marriage in my 1st month and a half I learned that day of we compromised, and we did a wedding with everyone there where we would say I do.

Eric Brotman [00:17:08]:

Yeah. And that that’s usually how it works. She, you know, your ideas are are you get a vote in the household. And it, unfortunately, ties go to your wife. Always. So, yeah. Alright. I understand. So you you you had the the nuptials a couple of months ago at this point. And, and now you have to talk about other decisions. One of them being is there going to be a name change. And the process around that, and some of the expense and inconvenience around that

Cody Niedermeier [00:17:36]:

how did you guys address that? So currently in process, actually. So right now, she is a travel nurse. I mentioned she was a nurse before. of changing a name during a contract that she has is an absolute nightmare. Also, we went to Switzerland for our honeymoon the day after we had our wedding. And the worst thing that you could possibly do is start a name process change and then take your air or take your passport to the airport and say, no. This this is actually me now. Yeah. So name change process is in are on hold at the moment. And we’re currently working through, you know, when’s going to be the right time frame to do that. And we’re looking at it once this first contract is over. Okay. And and that’s excellent advice in general. If you’re going to travel for a honeymoon,

Eric Brotman [00:18:22]:

don’t start the name process while you have boarding passes already and passports and driver’s license and all that stuff ready to go, make sure you’ve got a a period of time where the slate is clean to do that. so now you’ve done Switzerland. You’ve you’ve had the wedding. You’re now married people. You got all the various gifts you sent to thank you cards, and now it’s real life. and now it’s it’s day to day life. And one of the things that couples newlyweds, especially need to sort of navigate is financially is who’s paying what bills and how our account’s being set up. how did you decide to do that yourselves? And then And then I guess what are the best practices in case they weren’t exactly what you, what you wound up doing?

Cody Niedermeier [00:19:07]:

Yeah. So In addition to having a wedding, we decided it would be a great idea to buy a new house. So we went through a home buying process while we were planning for a wedding. or shall I say she went through finding the house that we wanted to be in as well as planning our wedding. And from there, we were able to get the house. And then everything was set up under my name from the start for the bills, the mortgage of making sure it was getting paid. So right now, we’re in the process of asset titling. So we’re looking at our bank accounts. We’re looking at our checking and our savings accounts. we’re adding each other on each of the accounts. And our big idea of what we’re trying to do right now is we’re gonna have one joint savings account which will be our emergency fund, our vacation savings, our travel savings account. And then we have 2 checking accounts. which I think a lot of people have different conversations about of whether, Hey, we should have one checking account. Everything should be in one spot. All the bills are paid from there. What we’re looking to do right now is take it step by step process and find out what we’re comfortable with. The first thing, like I said, is we’re getting our names on each of our accounts. where if something happens to me, and I’ll, during these examples, I always give myself because I’m not gonna put her in any bad position. Let’s say I get in a car accident And she needs to get access to my account. Her name’s on there. She can go into my checking. She can pull whatever we need to pay those bills. If she wasn’t on the account and we don’t have estate planning documents, which I’m sure we’ll touch on today or another day. And she doesn’t have access to make financial decisions on my behalf. it becomes an absolute nightmare of these things don’t get paid. When mortgages don’t get paid, the bank comes and says, well, this is my house again. And that’s what you’re trying to avoid in these situations.

Eric Brotman [00:20:50]:

So, generally, what I’ve been advising couples to do, and what my wife and I have done is we do have 2 checking accounts. They are both joint. One of them has me as the primary tenant, and one of them has her as the primary tenant. So we each have our own ATM cards. You know, you don’t wanna use a debit card and mess with balances if you don’t know what one another is spending. if she wants to buy me a gift, which if she’s listening, I’d love a gift. if she wants to do that, there’s, an account that she can use for that purpose and the same thing on on my end. And then you decide who’s paying which bills out of which account, whether they’re all being paid by 1 or, or, or, or whether they’re being paid in a shared way. And it really doesn’t matter which paycheck goes into which account. It’s all your money collectively. so generally, that is a a good idea. there are some alternatives to that. But generally, I think those accounts between between spouses should be joint in basically all cases. It doesn’t mean they have to be shared, but they should at least be titled jointly for the, the car accident scenario that you gave. now there’s also, some beneficiary issues on things. you know, 401 ks and other other plans automatically revert to a spouse, though it’s still a best practice to file the actual paperwork change beneficiaries, but that does not happen with IRAs, with, life insurance policies, with other types of things. So Did you go through that full litany together and adjust beneficiaries together? Was that a transparent conversation for the 2 of you?

Cody Niedermeier [00:22:20]:

It’s a very transparent conversation. It’s you’re thinking about the worst thing that could possibly happen to one of us you know, a month and a half is how long I’ve been married and we’re having this conversation of, if I die, you know, how are my assets gonna be distribute it. And I think a lot of what we’ve been talking about has been the idea of, Hey, this is my first marriage, but second marriage has happened, 3rd marriage has happened, All of a sudden, you’re looking at beneficiary designations and it’s back to your first wife. It’s not a conversation I would ever wanna have with my current wife of, hey, why are they listed ahead of me? So making sure you’re doing a good cleanup, making sure your beneficiary designations match with the newest state planning documents that you should get executed as soon as you get married to make sure everything is dispersed and covered the way you want it to be is hugely important in making sure your financial plan is set up.

Eric Brotman [00:23:12]:

Does Nellie know how many times you’ve been married? Nellie does know. And she’s the 1 and fingers crossed over here. There you go. Yeah. Anything and I used to ask people you know, clients would come in or prospective clients would come in. And one of the things I would ask them is, you know, when did you get married? And then I would always ask, is this your first wedding for each or your first marriage for each of you. And I used to get some very funny responses. I’ve learned not to do that. I no longer say is it your first marriage. I just say, had either of you been married before, because the idea that it’s your first marriage conjures up the fact that there But the reality is marriages can only end in two ways. They can only end in death or divorce. That’s the sad fact. there is no other ending to a marriage. And so may it be till death to his part? That’s the objective. but that’s not always the case. So I I you’re you’re rightfully so, especially for folks who are getting married a second or third time or have kids from prior marriages, it’s a very different conversation than it is with with young people who are getting married for 1st and hopefully only time who don’t have all the various baggage necessarily from other relationships to deal with. now the first thing that happens when you when you propose to somebody and you say, hey. I gotta engage is everyone says, oh, when’s the wedding? When and where? Like, you’ve got it all planned immediately. And then you walk down the aisle and you haven’t even cut the cake yet when people say, so when are you having children?

Cody Niedermeier [00:24:38]:

Oh, that definitely happened at our wedding. So when are you having children? And how many does she want? Cause it’s not up to you. Yeah. How many what sex are they gonna be? You know, you can make all these decisions now and it works out exactly how you, how you line it out. Absolutely. But, no, ideally, we’re gonna be blessed one day. We both love to have a family, you know, whether that be through natural birth, adoption. Who knows at this time? But it’s something we definitely are looking forward to. And trying to include in our plan moving forward.

Eric Brotman [00:25:07]:

But so so other advice for newlyweds, what else do you have to do once you’ve tied the knot in terms of finances there. I’ve got a couple things on the, on the tip of my tongue. I’m curious what, what you advise folks to do after the dust settles, the honeymoon’s over, and and everyone’s in your office for the first time as a married couple.

Cody Niedermeier [00:25:26]:

So, ideally, we’ve been having conversations along the way that help make this meeting a lot more productive. But one of the first things is this is basically a restart of your financial world. Now, truly everything is not just yours, you’ve become one. Everything is yours as in general, both of you. So what Neli and I are doing, and I think it’s best just speak from example right now is there’s some old employer 401 ks or 403bs. So we’re doing a cleanup of those. we’ve taken a look at, okay, one of us was making monthly direct Roth contributions. IRA limits. they take into effect now that we’re married, we’re seen in a different type of bracket. Mhmm. So how do those impacts impact us? And we’re looking at it and saying, okay, we can’t make those direct contributions. We’ve got to stop those. We’re going to consolidate accounts. We’re going to look to try to get everything in one place. to make our world simpler and not more complicated. So we’ve done rollover calls. We’ve opened accounts. We’ve transferred assets. All in 6 weeks. all in 6 weeks. This is where I’m excited when I get home and then she gets home after a 12 hour shift and I come at a thousand miles per hour, And she’s just like, can I just eat dinner? It’s 8 pm. I’ve had a long day. Yeah. And when she’s talking about her nursing stuff, it goes way above my head. But when I talk about these things, it kind of goes above hers. And that’s where Yani, you know, my financial advisor comes in tremendously of being patient. holding us accountable for, hey, let’s do these top priority things 1, 23 before our next meeting and really breaking it down for us. Well, I I can completely understand why Nellie’s tired after work because she works full time. Yeah. and so so therein lies what appears to be the difference. I’m only kidding. mostly.

Eric Brotman [00:27:12]:

Yeah. other things though that newlyweds need to consider, you have to look at all of your various risk management, all your various insurances suddenly, you’re gonna want your car insurance put together, especially if, if you’re dealing with titles on automobiles. Cars should not be titled jointly. They should be titled to one of you or the other, But in a lot of states, including Maryland, you can name a beneficiary on your car through the DMV. That’s a best practice. Yeah. employee benefits need to be adjusted, may that you have to figure out whether you’re gonna use your health insurance or hers, whether you’re gonna use your vision or dental or her vision or dental, and all the other options there. you have to decide not only on the beneficiaries on some of your existing insurance, but are you going to need additional life insurance, which often comes when suddenly you’re homeowners, and you have a different level of financial responsibility. And if it was just one of you, it’d be more difficult. Yeah. and then you mentioned estate planning, the legal stuff. This is so romantic to think about, but you you do need to have a lawyer. it also you’re gonna file joint tax returns for the time. So you need to decide are you using your CPA or hers or are you sticking with TurboTax or whatever the choices are. How did you side which attorney accountant, insurance agent, and other advisors to use? I know you chose a financial advisor, I presume that was relatively easy because of what you do for a living, but how did you guys choose the other advisors in your world? And how do you deal with that if there’s maybe an uncomfortable spouse in the room with one of the advisors. Yeah.

Cody Niedermeier [00:28:40]:

So, again, if I had my advisor going into I was meeting with Yani previously before we got married. And she did not have a financial planner. So that conversation was pretty easy for us of there wasn’t 2, there wasn’t none, and you’re starting what feels like from scratch. So making that introduction, who she already knew Yani, so this was kind of an easy way for us But if you have 2 people who both have financial planners, sit down with both of them, interview them below, and see what’s gonna be blessed for you guys moving forward. as a couple. That seems tough to do, especially if you have a relationship with somebody for years, a lot of the decisions you’re making right now are extremely emotional. you know, you don’t want to break these relationships. Hey, I’ve only had my checking and savings account at this bank my entire life. And now we’re having a conversation, I have to move everything. It really it seems simple on paper, but it takes a toll. Yeah. No. And and for people to get attached to a commercial bank is peculiar, but it’s also true. And it’s force a habit, and it’s, I know where my branch is, and I know

Eric Brotman [00:29:43]:

I mean, even branches are barely needed anymore, but, but still there’s that conversation about comfort zone and the website and, and the access how’d you decide on, on how you’re going to file your taxes as, as a married couple? Yeah. So this is where

Cody Niedermeier [00:29:58]:

it’s a little complicated, but it’s also a little bit easier of she is originally from Albuquerque and she’s travel nursing. So address is still through Albuquerque. She’s paying her mom rent the entire time she was here. and she’s had her taxes done through a CPA in Albuquerque, a family friend of theirs. And, you know, now we are in Maryland, mostly full time now, she’s still going back, helping with some family things. But where we’re at, you know, geography is a huge reason. We’re gonna probably stick with the CPA that I’ve been using. That’s been a part of the conversation. Nothing finalized. Again, open book over here for everybody listening. so on that front, state documents, same idea. You know, we see ourselves being in Maryland full time or actually moving forward. And you wanna have, make sure that you have a state planning documents done in the state you’re living in especially if you see yourself there for the foreseeable future, state laws differ. The attorneys in that state know the ins and outs of what’s going on there. financial planners have an idea. We’re not experts. We can point you in the right direction and link you up with somebody if you need to be. but mostly just based off geography is, that’s how we’re making most of our decisions right now.

Eric Brotman [00:31:08]:

So I, I know we’ve only scratched the surface on, the newlywed conversation. But I, hopefully, we’ve given, and I think you’ve given some terrific pointers and, and you’ve been very transparent with us, which I, I very much appreciate. And I hope you’re still married after this show is live. I do as well. yeah, that would be helpful. I have to ask you, a very important question, though, because as as you know, being a fan of the show, I need to know what you want to be when you grow up. And knowing you as I do, you have an enormous amount of growing up to do. So I’m excited to hear your answer.

Cody Niedermeier [00:31:39]:

I’m following in your footsteps. We both have a lot of growing up to do and a lot to look forward to in the future. right now in the short term is, you know, just continuing to help clients continuing to build BFG’s financial planning for all program, which is just creating a platform for anybody to have access to a financial planner. It’s not an asset minimum that you see a lot of add a lot of financial planners or financial adviser offices, it’s creating access for anybody out there to empower them through financial planning. for individuals, families, generational planning, anything along those lines. And in the longer term, I would love to do a lot more of this. lot more podcasts, a lot more getting my voice out there to help anybody who’s willing to listen, just creating free resources for people who you know, are not sure where to turn, what next steps to take?

Eric Brotman [00:32:28]:

I have no doubt that that will be what’s, what’s happening in the future. And I wish you luck with that. It’s It’s actually a lot of fun, and it is empowering people. And and that’s nice. So we need an extra credit assignment. Maybe that’s, out there And I’m gonna ask you to make this extra credit assignment something that could be used at any stage of this process. So whether you’re just dating, Whether you’re, engaged already, whether you’re, preparing for all those various steps that we talked about. 1 credit assignment that folks can, can take away from this episode.

Cody Niedermeier [00:33:00]:

Yeah. And what I would love to see people do, you know, pull from this is you gotta figure out where you’re currently at. So if you haven’t sat down with that significant other long term relationship, why if wife of 30 years, spouse of any kind, is sit down, create your top 3 short term goals, and your top 3 long term goals. Just create a platform where it’s easy to have a conversation about what you’re both are looking for. If you see things that are similar, great. If you see things that are different, why are they different? And how can we have a conversation about it? If you’re not currently in a relationship, do the same thing. Create 1, 2, and 3 short term and long term, And then that’s gonna help you when the time comes of you are in a relationship. You are getting married. What are you looking for in a significant other? you already have your list in front of you, and that can help dictate your conversation.

Eric Brotman [00:33:52]:

Sage advice, my friend. And and thank you so much for being on the show. For folks who wanna get in touch Cody, we’ll make sure that there’s, that there’s contact information in the show notes. you know, he is, he he works with families, particularly young families, all over the country and does a great job in having these conversations. and, you know, at some point, I have to have Nelli on the show so I can get the real story about the engagement and the wedding planning and all those things because I suspect there’s always three sides of the story. Yours hers and the truth, and I suspect hers is the truth. but nonetheless, thank you so much for being on the show. It’s been a ton of fun to have you here in studio, which is special. and I, I wish you continued success. And I’m glad you’re part of our team. Thanks for being here. Yeah. I appreciate you having me on and looking forward to next time. I’d like to thank all of you for listening and watching today. We’d love to hear from you. So please send us a message or leave us comments at don’t retiregraduate.com or on social media. If you enjoy our show, share it with your friends and family so they can join you on your journey to financial freedom, and please leave us ratings and reviews on your favorite podcast platforms. They’re priceless to us. We’ll be back next week with another installment of office hours, and in 2 weeks with another engaging guest. For now, this is your host, Eric Bratman reminding you don’t retire, graduate.

Voiceover [00:35:18]:

Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services, LLC, Kestra IS, member Fenra SIPC, Investment Advisory Services offered through Kestra Advisory Services, LLC, Kestra AS, an affiliate of Kestra IS, Kestra IS, or Kestra ASR not affiliated with Brotman Financial or any other entity discussed.