[00:00:00] This is Eric Brotman, the host of Don’t Retire… Graduate!: The podcast that teaches you how to advance into retirement rather than retreating. Welcome to office hours where we answer listeners’ questions about personal finance, retirement readiness, and more. We received a question from Efrayim who asked, should I pay off my girlfriend’s debt?
Efrayim, that is a loaded question. I’m going to do my best to answer it in a as appropriate way as possible, not knowing a whole lot about you. Naturally. First thing is in general, when you are in a committed relationship, particularly if that relationship is going to lead to a legal partnership on marriage and so forth, then you’re marrying someone.
Anyway. So on, on one hand, it’s terrific, uh, that your girlfriend at least shared with you, that she had some debt and hopefully was transparent with you about that because it does matter. Um, I think really it’s going to come down to your commitment in this relationship and hers. Uh, and of course the, the amount of debt that we’re talking about and how it might impact your [00:01:00] ability to do the things that you’re doing financially.
So, you know, in general, I cringe a little when I hear that someone who is not married is going to be paying off debt for someone else. I mean, it’s certainly a kind thing to do, but it might also be a foolish thing to do. And of course, if you, if the two of you have been together for five years, that’s different than if you’ve been together for five months.
Uh, and only you can understand what that relationship is and, and where you believe and hope it’s going and so forth. There have been a lot of programs around combining financial. And so when you’re in a committed partnership or marriage of any type, you are not only marrying someone’s, uh, family and in-laws and so forth, and you’re marrying their, uh, their history, but you’re also marrying their financial statements.
So your balance sheet is suddenly for both of you, uh, and if you have a positive net worth and she has a negative net worth, it’s going to net out to be a partnership net worth that may or may not be a real favorable. [00:02:00] So I can’t answer on the personal front, whether this is a good move or not. I can tell you that two of the advisors in our office recently did a webinar on this very subject.
So Cody Niedermeyer and Lena Nebel, who were two of the advisors at BFG, did a webinar recently on how to combine finances. And when the proper time is in relationships, not only to think about combining them, but just to have an honest and open discussion about them and that webinars available for free, and you can watch it on, uh, Brotman media.com/webinars.
And what you’re looking for here is the marriage webinar. Um, that, uh, Lena and Cody did a few, a few months ago. Uh, and I think it actually will address some of these things. It might even be something that you and your girlfriend talk about together or watch together. Uh, you may want to watch it first on your own just to make sure that you feel comfortable doing that.
But I can’t, unfortunately I can’t tell you with the limited amount of knowledge that I have about your [00:03:00] situation, whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing, um, think about the impact it will have on you and think about. If the two of you don’t wind up going to the alter and getting married and spending your lives together.
Think about how you would feel in the event you do in fact pay off her debt. Uh, and then the two of you aren’t together anymore. This is not a, certainly I’m not a therapist and this isn’t a family counseling, uh, show, but financially speaking in general, that’s not a very good idea unless there are some assurances that this is going to be something you were marrying into anyway.
Uh, and so I, I hope I answered your question. I know it’s not a black and white answer, but hopefully it’s given you some things to think about. And I certainly wish the two of you well, and I hope that your financial future’s a bright one. And if you determine that you’d like to, uh, watch that webinar, I encourage it.
And if you determine that you’d like to talk to a financial advisor, maybe the two of you together, uh, certainly there are lots of advisors who would do that. You can also go to financial planning for all.com [00:04:00] and learn about, uh, some of the, the types of, of programs that are out there that are reasonably affordable.
That might be beneficial to you with. So thank you for your question. If you’d like to send us a question, which we might answer in a future episode of office hours posted on our Facebook page or tweet us at @Brotmanplanning. If you like, what you hear, please subscribe to our podcast and leave a review on apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.
Don’t Retire… Graduate! is a book available in print, Kindle and audio formats, and a workbook with all the exercises you need to help you build your own financial freedom. For more information, go to Brotman media.com or buy your copy and leave us a review on Amazon. Please also check out our online financial literacy education courses at bfguniversity.com.
Thanks for coming to office hours. Be sure to tune in for new content every Thursday. For now, this is your host, Eric Brotman, reminding you don’t retire, graduate!
